Believe it or not, sharing my feelings is something that is very hard for me to do. Not being able to open up to people makes me keep all my feelings and emotions in a balloon. As I keep stuffing all of these emotions into this balloon, the ballon keeps growing and growing until it explodes.. Once the explosion occurs everyone stay away! I am angry, sad, frustrated, and overall an emotional person. I want to take my anger and frustration out on any one who is near me. Unfortunately, most of the time this involves people who love me. It’s unfair to hurt the people who love me and are trying to help me. In therapy we discussed keeping a journal and venting out on pen and paper all the emotions and feelings that I am experiencing instead of feeling up that box until it explodes so here is what I have been doing..
I keep two journals. Keeping these journals have been very beneficial for me. It allows me to release feelings and emotions in a positive way other than just stuffing them into a box until the box can take no more.
My first journal is an everyday journal. I just write down little things such as how my day has been, what I’ve been up to, how work was, and any emotions I am feeling or have the need to share, write down, and move on from. I enjoy writing down my feelings and emotions because the paper and pen do not talk back nor form any judgement of myself as a person.
My second journal is a journal dedicated to my sister.
In this journal I write letters to my sister. These letters contain notes in which I share thoughts that I wish she knew and I wish I was able to tell her in person. This helps me feel connected to her and is a great tool for grief.
Sharing your thoughts and emotions with others can be very difficult. We do not want to show vulnerability or seem as weak. From my experience you have to find away to release these feelings and emotions whether it is by talking to someone or writing them down. The more you hold on, the bigger the explosion will be because they will find a way out one way or another.